The Public Eye

printed 05/28/2021

After writing occasionally about my dogs, which is usually out of desperation, since writing about one’s pets as if they’re human is one of the oldest and cheapest writing tricks there is, it occurred to me that absolutely no one knows what they look like or the circumstances preceding their arrival at my home.

It’s been nine years or so since their rescue from difficult circumstances, and even though we’re still negotiating the “forever home” clause of their adoption, chances are they’ll stay.

When I say “rescue,” I don’t mean we got them as lost little puppies, signed a couple of papers and took custody. No, I mean we literally rescued them from tough situations of their own making.

Kiva, who is of German, English, Babylonian, Viking, Hungarian and most of the Baltic states ancestry, fell in early with a bad crowd of “adventurous” women who led her astray.

She was eventually rescued from a life of idle mischief after she hit bottom and was ticketed for selling apples on the street corner without health department approval.

Today, she is mostly well-behaved, having recovered from her obsession with 1920s fashion and unfiltered cigarettes ... but still drinks from the toilet.

Crazy Eddie also led a dissolute life for a time as a dealer in junk bonds before his pursuit of unlimited biscuit money drove him to become involved in several pyramid schemes.

Set upon by authorities for his role in the Bernie Maddoff scandal, he turned state’s evidence and received immunity from the law, as well as rabies, distemper and worms.

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