The Public Eye

printed 11/13/2020

One of the more infuriating problems with maintaining a safe social distance during this corona scourge is when other people won’t let you.

You’re standing in line at a checkout counter and, inevitably, you have behind you a creeper who keeps inching forward, as if that will make you move faster.

It has occurred to me that the answer to this situation is a modified version of the Victorian-era bustle, a rear-mounted, under-skirt fashion accessory designed to give the female derriere the fullness of, say, a train station.

It was once said, as a matter of fact, that an entire rugby match took place under a particularly significant one — the Astro-Bum, as it came to be called — during the Great Storm of 1880.

But then it occurred to me: this could be just the thing to prevent creepers from closing in on you from behind in the checkout line.

As a result, I’ve come up with a line of women’s and men’s bustles modified just for this purpose.

By the way, still in the works (below) is the “Punching Bag,” the ultimate handbag and personal protection device rolled into one.

I just know I’m going to make tons off these things.

young woman fashion wear with elegant bag character
R-2000 bustle

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