The Public Eye

printed 01/08/2021

People have asked, over the years, whether I ever considered running for political office, and my response always has been I’m not that into self-loathing.

I beat myself up enough as it is for saying stupid things, occasionally (or frequently, depending on whom you ask), so I certainly don’t need to make it a full-time pursuit by saying even more stupid things just to keep people happy.

Besides, there’s quite a bit about government and politics that I know nothing about, not that this particular shortcoming has prevented any number of other people from ascending to seats of power.

But take the Electoral College for instance. I have been opposed to it for most of my adult life, figuring that we didn’t need a middleman, so to speak, to vote for us after we had already voted.

To me, it’s like writing down a prayer and sending it to the preacher with a note that says, “Please forward.”

I just didn’t get it. Until recently. Now, I have become the great defender of this institution.

Here’s why: California has something like 10 million more people of voting age than any other state in the country.

Meanwhile, we have the Electoral College, which is kind of like a voltage regulator that tamps down the surges and boosts the low points.

In other words, if we didn’t have an Electoral College, California voters could just about decide for the rest of us who the president would be.

That would not be good in so many respects, not the least of which would be the possibility of them choosing someone from the Tofu Party, followed by a presidential executive order declaring that nuts, berries and almond milk will be the required diet.

And then there’s the strong possibility of the appointment of at least one Kardashian to the Supreme Court, or maybe as the secretary of the new Department of the Exterior, wherever they’d look best and get the most exposure.

No thanks. I’ll stick with the system we have. I’ll also try not to say stupid things quite as frequently as I have been, just to be sure that no one mistakes me for a member of the political class.

As President John Adams said, “In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.”

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