The Public Eye

printed 05/29/2020

Awwww. Wook at the wittle sissy-baby wearwing a mask. Isn't he cute?

I'm not sure how wearing or not wearing a surgical mask in public became a political statement.

It's not as if the coronavirus belongs to any party.

The only thing I can think of is that the CDC must have issued a statement that said, “Preventative Measure 2.1 (a), “If, on the other hand you are a big weenie, sure, go ahead and wear a mask.”

Personally, the only time I won't wear a mask is right after I have a fish dinner. Take it from me, the backdraft on that will knock you out.

“Look! Man down on the Boardwalk! Remove his mask and begin CPR immediately!”

“Ewwwwww. I'm afraid it's another case of Mrs. Paul's fish sticks, cap'n.”

And there'd you'd be, all laid out, mask removed, mouth open and suffering the further indignity of a mouthful of nickels, dimes and quarters tossed in by passersby who thought you were a performance art busker.

Look at it this way: if you believe wearing a mask in public infringes on your personal liberty, why does having to wear pants in public not do the same thing?

Besides, not wearing pants might seem even more patriotic, because everyone would say, as you passed by, “Oh say, can you see ... ?”

gull with mask

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