1/17/2020 Public Eye

(Printed 1/17/2020)  

So much for civility. We all knew it was getting worse and by “we,” I mean all you (insert an insult here). 

A day doesn’t go by that we don’t hear someone of note reverting to 9th grade smarty pants remarks and put-downs.

It was just yesterday, in fact, that a television reporter (you know, one of those mouth-breathing pot-stirrers whose parents faked their own deaths just to be rid of him) asked Arizona Republican Sen. Martha McSally how she felt about hearing new testimony in the impeachment hearings of you know who.

I didn’t mention the actual name of that individual, because I don’t want to get in a fistfight over how I am perceived to feel about all this.

The truth is, I think we’d be better off to going back to the tribal system instead of dealing with a bunch of (insert really bad insult here) politicians.

At least in the tribal system, I might have a chance of becoming a village elder, which, as I understand it, is someone who is smarter than the chief, but lost the arm-wrestling competition.

Anyway, the reporter asks the question, and McSally replies: “You’re a liberal hack. I’m not talking to you!”

So there.

Now, maybe the guy really is a liberal hack and maybe he isn’t. I have no idea, because I don’t pay attention to television news programs about politics, politicians and all the people who interpret what they said or meant to say.

So, in other words, what McSally really said is, “No comment,” but noooo. She had to demonstrate her … something or the other … for the folks back home because she’s up for reelection. 

Here’s the thing, it used to be that politicians were much smarter than they are now, quick on their feet and good with a put-down that has staying power.

For instance:

“He has the backbone of a chocolate éclair.” – Theodore Roosevelt on President William McKinley.

“She probably thinks Sinai is the plural of sinus.” – British Parliamentarian Jonathan Aitken on Margaret Thatcher.

“The honorable Member is living proof that a pig’s bladder on a stick can be elected to Parliament.” – British Labor Member of Parliament Tony Banks on Tory MP Terry Dicks.

“Sir, I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox!” – John Montagu, the fourth Earl of Sandwich, to political activist John Wilkes.

Wilkes replied, “That, sir, depends on whether I first embrace your Lordship’s principles or your Lordship’s mistresses.”

So, come on, people, if you’re going to be snappish to individuals you don’t like, at least be creative and come up with something more memorable.

If I wanted to insult a reporter, I’d say something like, “Hmmm, that is an extremely important question. So why don’t you go get someone more important to ask it?

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